Remember when you were a kid, and you stayed up super late with the television turned down low so that your parents wouldn’t know you were still awake? Eventually, after Knight Rider, Baywatch, and Air Wolf had wrapped up, after even the evening newscast was over, you’d hear the familiar strains of the National Anthem before the picture faded away into the test pattern (?). It was only three bars across the screen, the same bars you’d see if your television briefly lost signal. Admit it, you could stare at that test pattern forever if it meant not going to bed. We did, too.
It’s a memory that kids these days can never understand, since there is no such thing as blank air space; now, television plays 24/7. And your signal will never get lost thanks to improved satellite connections. If anything, it might freeze for a second, but you’ll never see those three beautiful colored bars as the station scrambles to fix the programming. Those bars were a microcosm of humanity’s struggle to create order from chaos. They were a gleaming example of man’s mastery over nature as he bent the light spectrum to his will to bring your young eyes the wonder of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They represented order, and creativity, and perseverance, and hope.
You may never get to see those three beautiful bars across your screen anymore, but now you can see them in your closet every day with this Men's OppoSuits Testival Suit. The two piece suit, which comes with a matching necktie, is covered in bars just like the ones that once filled your television screen. It's like you have become the screen. That's deep, man.
